Hey everyone,
Just a quick update because I have student journals to mark.
Currently we have slightly over two months left in Japan. I realised we had about a million people to catch up with before we left, so I'm trying to be proactive about organising farewell dinners with people. Two months = eight weekends, which really isn't that much!
So our social schedule is full, I'm busy studying for my Japanese test (the same one I sat last July and failed by one point out of 180!), I have a bit of a backlog of things I should be doing with www.wideislandview.com, I'm roped in to play Snow White in the English Club play in June and I'm trying to build up to 10km runs again. In my spare time I'm trying to do things that will prepare us for leaving, like cleaning out my wardrobe. It's going to be a very fast two months!
But... I'm feeling seriously sad about leaving. School is pretty good right now with the April teacher changes all working in my favour and English journals (titled 'Kiwi Logs' this year in an effort to move away from 'Charly's Note' which is both weird English and sucks for whoever takes over from me and has to check them for the other nine months!) are starting to flow in. Our trip to Korea made us realise how adjusted to life in Japan we are and I'm getting very sad about leaving our awesome bunch of friends that call Japan home! I keep reminding myself that most of our friends are leaving at the same time as we are, so staying for another year would be a totally different experience, but I'm still sad about leaving here.
I think it's worse because when we go home I have to get a Real Job and we are looking at settling down with a house, a puppy, etc. I had this sudden deja vu moment when I realised this is exactly what I went through when I was 20. At that point I had lived overseas for almost two years and I was returning to commit to a university degree. It seemed a terrifying, boring (can those two go together?) prospect. Now, I've put myself in almost EXACTLY the same situation, where I have to leave three years of travel and well paid, low responsibility work to come home and get a job that should last me a fair while and maybe even cover a mortgage.
Hmm... this is coming out wrong. It sounds like I'm worried about money. I'm not. I'm worried about being tied down. But I got through my university degree - thoroughly enjoyed it even - and met Jeff and lots of friends along the way. So I'm sure that my future in NZ holds just as many enjoyable things. It's just right now I'm panicking about all the countries I haven't visited (we even looked into a last minute jaunt to Vietnam to go kayaking in Halong Bay, but the air fares were too expensive to justify it for only a few days). It's so hard to leave NZ because we're so far away and air fares are so darn expensive. I don't know why I can be such a proud Kiwi and love my country so much... and want to spend my whole life exploring other places. Go figure.
I guess I should be honest and point out I'm in the process of job hunting at the moment. That draining experience probably has a lot to do with my inability to imagine anything positive in NZ right now. I'm sure once I have a job to look forward to, I'll be much more excited about living at home again. As it is, I can't imagine anything past the first two weeks of catching up with friends and family and indulging in falafel kebabs and Hell's Pizza.
On that note, if anyone wants to offer me a job... I don't have any money in NZ to pay bribes right now, but I can pay the debt in compliments or in horse riding lessons if you can wait until August!
Sorry this has come out rather negative. Japan has been an amazing experience and a wonderful weekend with friends isn't making the prospect of leaving look any more enticing. I love you NZ, but you're awful far away from everything else!
Charly
xo
